The 4-Legged Step Child

Poor Calli. Ever since we brought that car seat contraption home, with her newborn wiggly little brother in it, her life hasn’t been the same. Today Calli brought forward her list of grievances:

1) At night I’m always the last to get fed. Granted, I can mooch a fair amount from the baby, but I still need my kibble to keep me happy and healthy. I shouldn’t have to whine incessantly to remind you either. It’s 8:00 p.m. for goodness sake, and I should be already curled up for the evening.

2) This house is full of kids’ toys. All of which I’m not allowed to chew on or chase after. Yet, for all of the oodles of toys those kids have, they have claimed the only two dog toys in the house as their own. I want my kong back. It is NOT a teether, Dani!

3) Why is my master never home? Have you done something to drive him away? If he were home more, I imagine I would get the love and attention I deserve. HE would throw the ball to me. HE would not banish me to the mud room every time my paws are just a teensy bit dirty.

4) Don’t get so mad at me every time I bark. So what if your precious little kids wake up. I bark for good reasons--because there is imminent danger lurking in the form of the UPS man, or because a ferocious girl scout is knocking at the door peddling fat grams, or in some cases, because the other dogs are doing it. And that is just our thing, so deal with it already.

5) Try to keep the kids out of my water bowl, would ya? Who knows where those hands have been. It’s disgusting. And yes, it is a bit judgmental of me to say considering I lick my butt. But again, in dog world, that is considered good hygiene, and I don’t plan on stopping that anytime soon, so quit trying to make me.

6) Toss me a ball every now and then. Take me on a walk. Please oh PLEASE can we go to the beach? I promise I won’t drink too much saltwater this time.

7) I just wish you’d love me like you did when I was the only “baby”. But because I’m a dog, I’ve already forgotten my list of grievances and have forgiven you completely....