Beware the Underground Day Spas

Just a quick announcement. The Salon de Boudreaux is now open for business. Apparently I let Dani go too long without the necessary beauty treatments, so she took matters into her own hands this morning. She's a go-getter, that one.

When there wasn't a peep from her room at 6:30 a.m., I said a prayer of thanks and made coffee. Fifteen minutes later, Caed came downstairs and wondered if it was still night time. And if not, then why wasn't Dani up?

"Good question," I said. "She's probably sleeping in. But let's go peek in on her just to make sure."

I rounded the corner in time to hear Caed shout, "Oh my goodness! She's into some SEER-ious mischief!"

Let me paint the picture.

I opened the door to find a buck naked two year old, standing on a chair, straining to reach the top of her bookshelf, her bum glistening from the two tons of Aquaphor she had slathered ALL OVER.

But really, can you blame her? With all the societal/marketing pressure put on these toddlers to keep up their "smooth as a baby's butt" skin and maintain that "sweet baby smell", it's no wonder they're creating underground (or perhaps just under-the-bed) day spas. It starts too young. It really does. That said, the answer to the question at the beginning of this paragraph is YES. I could most definitely blame her.

She turned and flashed a smile, "I p'itty Mama?" She of course meant to say "pretty", but "pity" was a more suitable word. Because who wouldn't pity the mama who had to clean up a widely distributed tub of Aquaphor, half a tube of A&D, and the remainder of the lavender calming cream? Not to mention a very greasy toddler?

And what a rotten time to run out of calming cream. Because YES, we could stand to get a little dollop of calm right about now. Please, just a few drops on my hands so I don't start a fire with all the wringing and clenching.

Luckily, I have a stash of calming cream for grown-ups tucked away in the kitchen for occasions such as this. It's called Baileys.

Oh I kid. I'd never drink Baileys so early in the morning.

At least not without some coffee in it.

Good thing I had already made coffee.

But seriously, I can give thanks that at least the green glitter incident from last Wednesday was separate and apart from today's beauty treatment gone awry. Because can you imagine if she had taken hold of that glitter while she was covered in Aquaphor? Can you say human art project?

And just in case you want to see the look on her face when she was caught, this is TOTALLY it.

Granted, this picture was taken in a totally different context. But if I had tried to snap a picture before the crime scene was cleaned up, I guarantee you this post would have turned into a plea for help on how to remove petroleum jelly from a camera lens....