Don't Go Baking My Heart

When Caed turned five, I perseverated on it with at least a half dozen sappy posts about how I simply couldn't believe my baby was turning five. So the precedent is set. Dani turns three this week, and I feel a week-long sappy tribute welling up in my drafts folder.

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Navigating the grocery store parking lot this morning, my shopping partner mimicked what she'd heard me say a few minutes earlier. "Oh my goodness gwacious, da pawking lot is so pull! Ebebybody ees comin' here today!"
Oh my goodness gracious, I can't begin to tell you how cute her little voice sounds to me right now.

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She's a very stubborn, independent, confident, enthusiastic little girl. I am very very afraid of what 14 years old will look like for her (and for me). She flashes a silly grin at me with her three year old dimples, and already I feel her slipping out of my reach. So tonight when she walked by with her baby doll stroller and bid me a faux farewell, I pulled her in by her belly until she plopped into my lap. And I asked her:

"Are you going to grow up and break Mommy's heart?"

"No," she smiled.

"Do you promise?" I pressed.

"No," she squirmed.

"Tell me," I said, "Say, 'I won't ever break Mommy's heart'."

"I mon't b'ake mommy's heart evah."

And off she ran. Already, I can feel my heart baking.

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Tonight after I tucked her in, sang her sleepy time song, administered hugs and kisses and kerpows and high fives, she asked for more. "Will you cuddle wid me?"

She's never asked that before. A drink of water? Oh yes. To locate her baby doll? A dozen times. But to cuddle? No way. This is the girl who wrestles and thrashes when she's asleep. Staying still in my arms while she's awake? Honestly, she's never wanted anything to do with it.

But tonight was different. She asked to cuddle.

And we did.

And it was a gift.

Shared with the Tuesdays Unwrapped crowd that gathers at Chatting at the Sky every Tuesday to perseverate on the good stuff.