I'm starting to feel guilty about the baby doll torture, among other things

I hesitate to share this, particularly on the heels of the last post, in which Sheridan demonstrated she is not the nurturing sort. As you've figured out by now, the majority of my material comes from eavesdropping on my children. Kids say the most disturbing, I mean, cutest things, don't they?


This is what I heard:
Sheridan shouting, as she sat in her bed, resisting nap time, "NO, NO, BABY DOLL. OFFF PIMMMITTTS!" (translated "off limits")

This is what I saw:
With one hand, Dani pointed and wagged her fierce finger at the baby doll in the pink swaddle; and with the other, she waved the tortured doll's bottle high above her head. Then, satisfied that the water baby had been appropriately chastised, she popped the bottle in her own mouth like a pacifer and smirked as the spittin' image of Dr. Evil.

And this is what I learned:

1) She actually DOES hear me when I say "off limits" and knows precisely what it means.

2) She is lording power over her baby doll because she feels the need to be large and in charge.

3) She has heard me shriek "off limits" about the Baileys, or coffee, or both in my cup, perhaps one too many times.

4) I might drink too much Baileys. Or coffee. Or both.

5) I most certainly shout too much.

6) She can do a wicked awesome Dr. Evil impression, even with a bottle in her mouth.

7) She is more like me than I care to admit, except way cuter and way younger. And when she yells at her baby doll, I laugh only a little before the guilt sets in. Then I remind myself that I've never tried to put her in the fridge or the oven or any other kitchen appliance, for that matter, and I again feel smug about how I am indeed a better mother than my two year old would be.



And just to show that the parental modeling goes both ways, I do have a positive little diddy to share. In the car this morning, Sheridan said "I wuv you, Caed". (This alone is a victory, as we've been trying to get her to substitute those very words for the barrage of "no no no" that she usually says to Caed. All. Day. Long.)

In response to this rare moment of triumph, Caed brought his hands to his cheeks and with sparkling, smiling eyes, he gushed, "Oh, did you hear that, Mom! What a sweetheart her is!"

That too was an echo of what I often say, except I usually get my pronouns right. Yes indeed, because not only am I a better mother than my two year old, I speak with better grammar than my four year old. I am truly all that and more.

So what have your kiddos done or said lately that was the spittin' image of you or your words, or perhaps of Dr. Evil? I'd love to hear about it--the good, the bad, and the ugly!



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