The Quotable Kindergartner

In a few short weeks, the little man will head off to Kindergarten. Do you think it would be too much to ask his teacher to record every cute little thing he says? Because I can't even tell you how much bloggy fodder I'm going to miss out on once I'm out of earshot from 9 to 3 every day. Not to mention how much of him I'm going to miss. Not even the redemptive return of Pumpkin Spice Lattes could pull me out of this dread of the first day of school.

So in lieu of me droning on about the passage of time and how quickly these darlings grow up (I'll save that for Monday), how about a Give-Me-My-Summer-Back! Back-to-School dose of the quotable Caed? Sound good? Okay, here goes....

On Travel
Randomly, as we were driving in a foggy evening:

Boy, it's not a good night to sail, is it? Because of all that fog. If you want to go somewhere, you can take a train, or maybe a car, but definitely not a sailboat. And you know what else you shouldn't do? You shouldn't ride on a seal! Because you would have to go underwater, and the water is too cold for that tonight. And the seals would be like, "Arhh Arhhg get offa me!"

By the time he finished, we were all laughing--I at his randomness, he and his sister at his seal impression.

On Safety

When Dani wasn't cooperating with hand holding in the parking lot, Caed stepped in with an eerie imitation of my motherly tone:

"Dani, let me tell you a story. This one time, when I was in the big city, I wasn't payin' attention and I fell into the street and almost got hit by a HUGE bus. And that woulda been really really BAD cuz I coulda gotten dead. And that's why you always, always HOLD HANDS!" (Now, this really did happen in NYC when he was 2 1/2 years old, although he didn't actually fall into the street. He just pulled away from my hand for a second and stepped one foot off the curb, but it was enough to scare some sense into him. Enough that he remembered it two years later!)

Then, in response to Dani bumping her head on her dresser, Caed admonished:

"Seeeeee! That's why we never play with doors." (Never mind that she wasn't within four feet of the door.)

On Manipulation
Sitting next to me at the breakfast counter, looking over my shoulder at pictures:

"Mom, I want to see that video."
"It's not a video, Bud. Eat your breakfast."
"I just want to see it!"
"Turn around and eat."
(Pause)
"Mom, I need to tell you something.....Umm, Umm, I looove you."
"Are you just saying that because you want to see the pictures?"
(Giggling) "Yeah."

On Stuff I Don't Even Know How to Categorize

"My leg hurts."
"What do you think is wrong, Caed? Do you have a bruise?"
"Well, I think it's science. Whatever it is that is hurting me is so tiny that the eye can't see it. And even DOGS can't see it either!" (Wow, not even dogs, huh?)

"I need some more milk to dry off the meat." (I believe the phrase you're looking for is "wash down.")

And I am not kidding when I say I could go on and on with excerpts of Caed's unintended entertainment. But lucky for you, the kids are now awake and I need to go about the mommy business of feeding and dressing them, and recording their every word.